[ a b s i l e n c e ]

Thursday, February 19, 2004

the ball is rolling, and it's crushing people in its way.

specifically, 8 people.

it's crunch time. and this is where it counts.

and where it counts hurts a lot.

Monday, February 16, 2004

i feel so stressed out, it's not even funny.

i know it's crunch time for the colony, but i feel as if i'm doing a lot of things myself.

i would call other people to get them to help, but they're not dependable.

the people that i call who are dependable are either busy or don't pick up their phone.

that leaves me by myself, and because i'm so so so scared of screwing up everyone's shot at chapter status, i go and do it myself.

everyone tells me not to do it myself, but it's hard when everyone else is not on the same page in my book.

i knew i'd be going crazy by accepting a position with leadership, but i didn't know i'd feel this pressured.

i feel infinitely more pressure knowing that the amount of money allotted to us is disappearing very very fast.

i feel infinitely way more pressure now that i've realized how much money i've been spending on gas for my car.

there's a certain freedom with a car, but i can feel the ball and chain tugging at my leg again.


well, 4 more weeks.